December 2009
14 posts
:S
There is something wrong with me.
Something very wrong.
I’m still trying to find out what.
Is it just me?
-click clickclick click-
And then half way, i stop;
wait WHATTHEHELL?! WHY AM I STALKING SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK.
-close-
crazyass people
ryan says:
why hello there!
Living on the edge says:
greetings from another planet!
ryan says:
which mighty empire might you be from?
Living on the edge says:
the empire, no doubt mightier than yours on your puny little planet
i suspect your wee brains would be unable to grasp its deep, complicated, meaningful name
ryan says:
i apologize oh mighty one
please share the knowledge
Living on the edge says:
apologies have no significance for us
we believe in sacrifice!
ahh well. honestly, we do not disclose the name of our planet, for fear that there may be, somewhere, someone who plans to take over our mighty empire
although its impossible, we do not take risks!
ryan says:
i understand your complex, yet wise strategy
thus i shall sacrifice a piece of toilet paper to your mighty empire
a piece of toilet paper is all we have in our imperial treasury
but we are willing to sacrifice it to you for word that you will not squash our planet
Living on the edge says:
you are in possession of the almighty toilet paper? oh, we worship it!
what great title have you been bestowed?
ryan says:
: o
Living on the edge says:
to be given the opportunity to handle the one and only toilet paper!
ryan says:
oh only the greatest honour in our planet
Global Asswipe
Living on the edge says:
indeed, for the toilet paper, you have my word Oh Great Global Asswipe that we shall not
squash your puny insignificant planet
Your title must bestow much honour for you
ryan says:
thank you for your compliments, oh great unknown one
now
the sacred instructions
to the toilet paper
are you ready for this honour?
Living on the edge says:
very much ready
we have been brought up preparing for this day!
oh, the honour i shall bring my family!
ryan says:
excellent
in the milky way
there is a planet
called Earth
there is a country called Singapore
it is about 270 times the size of our planet
Living on the edge says:
large must that planet be
ryan says:
HOLD ON I'M NOT YET FINISHED
Living on the edge says:
yet still tiny in comparison to our greatness
YES ALRIGHT MY PATIENCE IS BOUNDLESS
ryan says:
alright
there is a place called Plaza Singapura
and on the top floor
there is a place the dominant species there, the humans, would like to call the Toilet
and inside the Male Toilet
do not enter the Female Toilet
the f
the Females
are hideous creatures
which will burn you
in their lipstick
once they see anything
anyway
inside the Male Toilet
you will find it there
Living on the edge says:
what is this TOILET you speak of
a. A fixture for defecation and urination, consisting of a bowl fitted with a hinged seat and connected to a waste pipe and a flushing apparatus; a privy.
a fixture for defacation?
why would we care to enter a place where these, HUMANS, as you call them, defecate?
and from what i have heard, these FEMALES are in fact many times better looking than the MALE species of which you speak
many of these male humans are very much taken by the beauty of these females and write words dedicated to them which they proceed to croon out and they call this a song.
they also go to the extent of throwing themselves off tall buildings and structures
the reason for this escapes me, perhaps they wish to prove that they are one of a kind and can fly?
ryan says:
oh but no, they are unlike us
we can fly
these humans are stupid
Living on the edge says:
yes i have realised that
perhaps more similar to your species than mine?
for our species are in fact a secret race of deeply intelligent beings
we communicate through silence and move through waves
ryan says:
oooh
so you're like a fart
Living on the edge says:
if you would like to see it that way
we are capable of providing relief in many ways
as well as warn of oncoming problems that may need to be attended to
we do this quickly and effectively, with little regard for the opinions of others
ryan says:
HAHAHA
AHA
Living on the edge says:
and there are moments, when overcome by mirth or delight, a series of spontaneous, usually unarticulated sounds often accompanied by amazing amounts of intelligence
ryan says:
i have found out your planet
HAHAH
you are
from planet ASS
that is why you respect the toilet paper!
I SEE IT NOW
Living on the edge says:
HOW CAN THIS BE?
YOU?
A MERE COMMONER
YOU WERE CAPABLE OF FIGURING US OUT?
really, you must be one of us ass residents at heart
perhaps stolen away at birth?
HAHAHAH omg one of the most nonsense conversations i have had in unbelievably long. awesomeness: )
D:
IT IS SO DEPRESSING.
That school is gonna start soon, and i will have to be made to cut my hair.
Then i’ll go back into looking like a doofus again.
Now i’m just looking like a hobo.
Well hobo is better than doofus thats what i always say.
):
WHY MUST THEY MAKE US CUT OUR HAIR.
This is depressing, really.
It might even affect my grades.
I'M SORRY TEACHERS ILY.
Me: The male teacher, what's his name? Lin lao shi. Is it? Or something.
Germ: Liu.
Me: Right.
Germ: LOSER.
Me: Then the female? Lin.
Germ: Li.
Me: Shit.
Germ: You suck.
Potato
Okay right now my table is in a mess.
And i care as much as the people who’ll look at this post.
So i’m not packing it.
Yet.
I AM GROWING INTO A CHAIR POTATO.
(i’m not sitting on a couch you see)
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